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Your presence is your greatest gift. That not only states to a family you care, but somehow the world cares about how I am feeling. Families so often have their stories to tell, being a good listener is a primary function.
Here are some thoughts for conversation:
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What happened? |
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Had it been a long illness? |
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I remember your ____________ as a ____________ person |
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Share stories |
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Share a way that person influenced your life |
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If someone cries, don't be afraid. Your story or presence has just really touched them deeply and appreciatively |
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In a long illness it would be better to commend someone on their devotion. |
What not to say:
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He had a full life (Grievers reaction could be "Yes, but I wanted more.") |
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If a family states that, agree, yes and ask about a favorite memory, perhaps. |
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Your burden of going to the nursing home is relieved now. (Grievers reaction, that to many was a labor of love, they may have treasured their ability to be a caregiver and now there is a tremendous void.) |
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Be strong. That is asking someone to do something that is not helpful, but stressful. |
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